Do You Aim to Please?

Scripture Art used by permission from RandysDesign

We all want approval. For some of us, striving for approval takes a wrong turn.

My Dad was hard to please. He had strict rules that carried dire consequences if not followed, however, he didn't always let you know what those rules were before you broke them. At any given moment, you might find yourself on the hurtin' side of a backhand or belt, wondering what you'd done. Sometimes he'd tell you and sometimes you were left to figure it out for yourself. A lot of that depended on how long he'd stayed at the bar after work.

Don't get me wrong. I love my Dad. He's passed on, now, but before he died, he had changed. He pretty much stopped drinking and stopped being mean, but the residual effects of growing up that way left me with a strong desire to anticipate the moods and needs of others so that I could adjust my behavior and choose my words carefully in order to please them. This was especially true of male employers. I'd totally stress myself out trying to make sure they were happy with my work and at the same time worry myself sick that they weren't. This "aim to please" spilled over into my personal relationships with men, too, but I'm not going to go into details about that.

Unfortunately, this also affected my relationship with God. I've spent the better part of 35+ years trying to please God and at the same time, telling myself that I don't have to earn God's approval. He loves me just the way I am.  I am just now, at 62 years old, beginning to understand that God is pleased with me, not because of what I do or don't do, but because I have given Him my whole heart. He's pleased that I love His Son, Jesus Christ and that I have surrendered my heart and life to Him. He's pleased that I love His people - all His people, not just Believers, not just good people, but those people that are hard to love, because it's not my love that flows through me to them, it's His love. I am just a conduit.

What a joy it is to know that one day I will stand before the Lord and hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  Not because I've earned His approval, but because His incredible love made a way for me to be His beloved daughter.

Parents, let's make sure that our behavior doesn't set our children up for unhealthy relationships in their future. Most especially, their relationship with God.

For the Beloved Worrier

Scripture Art used by permission RandysDesign

 Worry – I come from a long line of worriers and my Mom is the Queen Worrier of them all. She recently called me from Ohio because she saw on the news that there was a bad wild fire burning about an hour north of where we live. She was distressed, to say the very least. She wondered if we were in danger, expressed deep concern for those in the fire’s path, for the landscape in the area and finally, she wondered if this fire and the other wild fires she’d been hearing about on the news, signaled the end of the world because the Bible says that the earth will be destroyed by fire (2 Peter 3:10).

I tried to calm her fears and ease her distress, but worry is an on-going problem for her and so many others. I don’t think I inherited that worry gene – thank God!  I don’t understand the Worrier or the worry. All it does is upset you, stress you out and steal the contentment and joy that Jesus came to give us. Often the worry is mere speculation about future events that may never take place. It’s imagined catastrophe. Even if the source of worry is very real, what’s the point of worrying? Worry doesn’t change anything.

Dear Worrier, if you really want to change bad circumstances…if you want to see God do amazing things for those caught up in those circumstances…if you want to prevent your imagined fears from coming true, go to the One who can change things – the Almighty God, who created all things and holds them together will hear your prayer and reassure your heart that He’s in control.

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”   Psalm 56:3 (NASB)

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